Almost Ready?
Wow, it's been a few months since my last post. Before I tell you all about what's changed, I just want to say a few things:
The end of school was really, really hard for me, and that's part of the reason why I hadn't written much. There was so much happening, so much anger on my part, which is something I thought I wouldn't have wanted to remember on this blog. And, I was really afraid of retaliation for anything I might have written.
So, here are some things that happened that last month of school that made it terrible.
My principal knew I was leaving. She was absolutely cold towards me. Any time I came to her with a problem that I couldn't handle in my own room (and lord knows I tried) or with another teacher, I was turned away anyway. When I heard about a student touching another student on the bus? That was my problem. When one of my students struck the EA working with me? I was to dole out the punishment- I just had to ensure I only took one recess from the student and the student wasn't allowed to pick up trash. When I was caught taking 10 minutes from my students' next class to have them clean my room after a particularly messy day, I received an informal evaluation written with "???? Students cleaning room" "What standard?" The day she found out that my students were going on a field trip and I had arranged for a day of filing paperwork (so I wouldn't have to do it another day when my students were actually present), I was left with the students who were not allowed to go on the field trip, despite the fact that none of the students who attended my class were in that group, and that they all had prior arrangements for those students. On the very morning of the field trip, I was told to make a lesson plan and take those students for the day, and to do the paperwork/filing after school.
The list could go on.
I was also troubled about leaving my fifth graders. They are beautiful kids and I'm sad that I will miss out on their learning this year.
Not to mention that the last month of school was pretty much testing and no learning.
I was so angry that I just couldn't write it down. Every time I did, I cried. Thankfully, I had one really great friend at work, who was pretty much in the same boat as me, as well as a handful of friends that I graduated with. My gosh, if it wasn't for them, there's no way I could've made it through the year!
Then, this summer I had an interview. I don't know what's wrong with me, but mid-interview, I spilled my guts to this principal. I basically told her "Yeah, the district told me to use this curriculum for all my students, but it didn't work for some of them. I tried to modify it, use it different ways, but in the end I scrapped it, regardless of the district rules, because my students and their learning comes first." It was a bold thing to say, and mentally I clapped a hand over my big mouth and slapped myself with the other hand. I thought I had blown it. And at a school that seemed perfect for me!
The principal leaned back in her chair. It seemed like an eternity before she broke into a smile and said, "Students come first. We don't have a mandatory curriculum, but we've got a lot to choose from. We need to use what works for each kid."
A week later, she called me to let me know that she was requesting me.
And I'm officially hired to work at that school this year!
May was a rough month. I honestly wasn't sure if I could ever be excited about teaching ever again. This school year almost crushed my teaching spirit.
But just the other day, while unpacking boxes in my new house, my husband held up a dinosaur cookie cutter (a brachiosaurus, if you must know ;) ) and asked, "What's this?"
"Oh, it's a cookie cutter I used this year when we were studying dinosaurs." And before I knew it, that teaching spirit returned to me.
Orientations (a whole lot of them!) start August 3rd, and school starts Sept 2nd. Just a few more weeks, and I'll be ready to do it again!!
I hope that those of you who may have had a hard time last year will find that same spirit I did. I hope this year is better for all of us.
The end of school was really, really hard for me, and that's part of the reason why I hadn't written much. There was so much happening, so much anger on my part, which is something I thought I wouldn't have wanted to remember on this blog. And, I was really afraid of retaliation for anything I might have written.
So, here are some things that happened that last month of school that made it terrible.
My principal knew I was leaving. She was absolutely cold towards me. Any time I came to her with a problem that I couldn't handle in my own room (and lord knows I tried) or with another teacher, I was turned away anyway. When I heard about a student touching another student on the bus? That was my problem. When one of my students struck the EA working with me? I was to dole out the punishment- I just had to ensure I only took one recess from the student and the student wasn't allowed to pick up trash. When I was caught taking 10 minutes from my students' next class to have them clean my room after a particularly messy day, I received an informal evaluation written with "???? Students cleaning room" "What standard?" The day she found out that my students were going on a field trip and I had arranged for a day of filing paperwork (so I wouldn't have to do it another day when my students were actually present), I was left with the students who were not allowed to go on the field trip, despite the fact that none of the students who attended my class were in that group, and that they all had prior arrangements for those students. On the very morning of the field trip, I was told to make a lesson plan and take those students for the day, and to do the paperwork/filing after school.
The list could go on.
I was also troubled about leaving my fifth graders. They are beautiful kids and I'm sad that I will miss out on their learning this year.
Not to mention that the last month of school was pretty much testing and no learning.
I was so angry that I just couldn't write it down. Every time I did, I cried. Thankfully, I had one really great friend at work, who was pretty much in the same boat as me, as well as a handful of friends that I graduated with. My gosh, if it wasn't for them, there's no way I could've made it through the year!
Then, this summer I had an interview. I don't know what's wrong with me, but mid-interview, I spilled my guts to this principal. I basically told her "Yeah, the district told me to use this curriculum for all my students, but it didn't work for some of them. I tried to modify it, use it different ways, but in the end I scrapped it, regardless of the district rules, because my students and their learning comes first." It was a bold thing to say, and mentally I clapped a hand over my big mouth and slapped myself with the other hand. I thought I had blown it. And at a school that seemed perfect for me!
The principal leaned back in her chair. It seemed like an eternity before she broke into a smile and said, "Students come first. We don't have a mandatory curriculum, but we've got a lot to choose from. We need to use what works for each kid."
A week later, she called me to let me know that she was requesting me.
And I'm officially hired to work at that school this year!
May was a rough month. I honestly wasn't sure if I could ever be excited about teaching ever again. This school year almost crushed my teaching spirit.
But just the other day, while unpacking boxes in my new house, my husband held up a dinosaur cookie cutter (a brachiosaurus, if you must know ;) ) and asked, "What's this?"
"Oh, it's a cookie cutter I used this year when we were studying dinosaurs." And before I knew it, that teaching spirit returned to me.
Orientations (a whole lot of them!) start August 3rd, and school starts Sept 2nd. Just a few more weeks, and I'll be ready to do it again!!
I hope that those of you who may have had a hard time last year will find that same spirit I did. I hope this year is better for all of us.
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