10 crazy questions and comments
Thank God, thanksgiving break is here!! Let my thankfulness be shown.
In the spirit of thankfulness, or just because I want to share my crazy funny stories, here are 10 very strange questions and comments I've been told by students this year.
1. "What (imagine "what" underlined, bolded, capitalized and any other emphasis you can think of being imposed on the word) happened to your hair?!"
This question being asked on the one day I bothered to do my hair.
2. "Remember that time S------ did that thing, Miss?"
This kid asks me this question on a regular basis. I still have no idea what he's talking about, and he refuses to explain, and gives me a blank stare when I ask.
3. "Why don't male animals produce milk?" Pretty normal question, except for that he was.. Gesturing at his male mammary glands.
4. "Ok, but still, really, why don't male animals produce milk?" Still gesturing.
5. "Oh, that reminds me, when are we going to watch porn this year?" (Same student asking this as questions 3 and 4.) While I was picking my jaw up off the floor, another student calmly jumped in and explained that he was talking about the sex education video. In response to his actual question... Uh, hopefully never...
5. "What happens if there's a lockdown and none of the teachers are here?" You mean you come to school on Sundays??! That right there's a devoted student!
6. "He farted at me. [in a dark tone] ON PURPOSE."
7. On an essay I asked them to write about a scary location... "I wouldn't go there. If you want to, then you crazy, gurl."
8. "Why are you always running into desks and walls?" Well, it's residual adolescence. You won't laugh so hard when you get there.
9. "I bet Mrs. J2 could bench 350. She could beat Mrs. -------- in fight." First of all, I wish. Secondly, why are you encouraging fist fights between teachers? Third... No. I would get my butt beat. :( thanks for saying you'd put down $100 though. You're a loyal pupil.
10. "Miss, I can't believe you're dancing. [whispered ominously] There are security cameras in the wall and [principal] watches them all the time." I waved at the "camera". The camera is my friend and has helped a lot of kids confess wrongdoings this year, with the mere threat, "don't make me rewind the camera."
I hope you enjoyed this post, and that it was as fun to read as it was for me to write!
And hopefully it was easy to read. My laptop is now broken, so I wrote this post on my phone. But my dryer is fixed now, hurray!!
Happy thanksgiving!
J2
In the spirit of thankfulness, or just because I want to share my crazy funny stories, here are 10 very strange questions and comments I've been told by students this year.
1. "What (imagine "what" underlined, bolded, capitalized and any other emphasis you can think of being imposed on the word) happened to your hair?!"
This question being asked on the one day I bothered to do my hair.
2. "Remember that time S------ did that thing, Miss?"
This kid asks me this question on a regular basis. I still have no idea what he's talking about, and he refuses to explain, and gives me a blank stare when I ask.
3. "Why don't male animals produce milk?" Pretty normal question, except for that he was.. Gesturing at his male mammary glands.
4. "Ok, but still, really, why don't male animals produce milk?" Still gesturing.
5. "Oh, that reminds me, when are we going to watch porn this year?" (Same student asking this as questions 3 and 4.) While I was picking my jaw up off the floor, another student calmly jumped in and explained that he was talking about the sex education video. In response to his actual question... Uh, hopefully never...
5. "What happens if there's a lockdown and none of the teachers are here?" You mean you come to school on Sundays??! That right there's a devoted student!
6. "He farted at me. [in a dark tone] ON PURPOSE."
7. On an essay I asked them to write about a scary location... "I wouldn't go there. If you want to, then you crazy, gurl."
8. "Why are you always running into desks and walls?" Well, it's residual adolescence. You won't laugh so hard when you get there.
9. "I bet Mrs. J2 could bench 350. She could beat Mrs. -------- in fight." First of all, I wish. Secondly, why are you encouraging fist fights between teachers? Third... No. I would get my butt beat. :( thanks for saying you'd put down $100 though. You're a loyal pupil.
10. "Miss, I can't believe you're dancing. [whispered ominously] There are security cameras in the wall and [principal] watches them all the time." I waved at the "camera". The camera is my friend and has helped a lot of kids confess wrongdoings this year, with the mere threat, "don't make me rewind the camera."
I hope you enjoyed this post, and that it was as fun to read as it was for me to write!
And hopefully it was easy to read. My laptop is now broken, so I wrote this post on my phone. But my dryer is fixed now, hurray!!
Happy thanksgiving!
J2
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